Blogging

I’m such a terrible blogger. I forget. I lack motivation. Blogging should be recreational. If it’s requiring motivation for me to complete it, I want to at least be getting paid for it.

But I’ve got something new to help me write, hopefully.

During my discipleship meeting, my pastor and I were talking about passion. And though I feel like I’m lacking it passion, he pointed out that I do like to write. And I do. So he told me to write an essay about Manning. Maybe I’ll be trying to write one essay a week and posting it on here.

I always seem to quit on my writing projects. That Haiku thing I blogged about last only made it about 3 days. I did write one yesterday … in my head if that counts.

So expect an essay soon.

Haiku

So, I’ve always disliked Haiku. But lately I’ve been wanting to write some. I read one by Basho yesterday that I thought was incredible.

An old pond!
A frog jumps in-
The sound of water.

I think the point of Haiku is to capture a certain moment in time. To capsulate a specific human experience in a single breathe, so that if someone else were to read it, they could experience it. It isn’t always like that, but I like it when it is.

So I’m going to start randomly writing Haiku. I might post them on here. I might post them as my facebook status. I may keep it to myself. But I’m going to try to write one everyday. This should be fun. Yesterday’s Haiku:

Realization!
Storms interrupt the hot day-
My windows are down.

Thoughts on Habakkuk

This past Sunday and continuing this coming Sunday my Pastor of Discipleship, Dave Keihn, is teaching out of Habakkuk. I’ll be honest and say have only skimmed this book once before about three years ago. The book is only three chapters long, and Dave covered the first two this past Sunday. (*Thoughts expressed are of my own thinking, and are not the views held by Dave Keihn or other leaders at Emmanuel Baptist Church*) 

The book is basically a prophet’s cry to God upon witnessing continual injustice, and God’s response with His very ironic way of bringing about justice. Sometimes I sort of feel like that. Journalism is all about the truth, and I think that’s why I’m drawn to it. I can’t help but dwell on injustices, and when I see them I’m infuriated. Much like myself, Habakkuk portrays a pretty cynical view in the beginning of Chapter 1 (verse 4):

Therefore the law is paralyzed, 
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.

When God answers, the answer is unbelievable (verse 5). God says He will use the Babylonians to punish and bring justice. Why is this so ironic? Because the Babylonians were terrible people; certainly not God’s people. I think a great modern analogy would be September 11, 2001. Though I don’t necessarily believe this, a good comparative equivalent would be that God told someone in American he was going to use terrorism to bring his justice. I repeat, I don’t necessarily believe that to be true, but I think it’s a powerful analogy.

Because where is the justice? How can God use something so unholy to bring about His holy justice? Habakkuk even brings that up (Chapter 1: 12-13). God basically responds saying that because the nation was built on injustice, it will be destroyed by injustice, and that’s justice (Chapter 2).

It doesn’t make much sense. Maybe it doesn’t have to. I think I really like it because I love irony.

Just like the old days.

Tonight I sat outside the church for at least two hours just shooting to breeze with two guys I know. Dale is a junior at Laurence Manning Academy and DQ is heading into his sophomore year at USC Sumter. We talked about life, God, traveling, etc. We climbed on top of this school bus and sat up there in the summer breeze.

It was just like the old days. Many times in high school, and even during my summers home, Vinay and I would sit outside of the church late into the night talking about whatever. It was very nostalgic.

Today I had an adult ask me why I don’t hang out with adults. They wanted to know why I lived here, where friends my age were, why I don’t live with friends from college. I didn’t really know what to say. I wish I had answers to those questions sometimes.

I live here because I don’t have much of a choice. I don’t have any friends my age (here). And I don’t live with my friends from college because I’m not in college. Maybe these are questions I don’t want to face.

Don’t let this be confused. I love nights like tonight, hanging with Dale and DQ. Those guys are brothers. But of course I want to be with friends my age, friends from college. That just isn’t a luxury or privilege I have right now.

I know it’s cliche, but you never realize how much people mean to you until they’re not around anymore. Now that Vinay lives in New Mexico, I truly miss him. Most of my friends live 2-3 hours away, and I miss them. Even when hanging out the guys tonight, the future came up. Talks of moving away and moving on. I wonder where I’ll be in 2 years, and who I’ll be hanging out with.

The internet is for information, not feelings or friendship.

I’ve intentionally kept personal venting out of this blog. I’m now sort of realizing why.

I love the internet.

But I don’t like the way it can so easily de-humanize people. Recently, I’ve taken a step back from the internet. Granted, I’m still on it a lot, but I’m trying to not maintain relationship through the world wide web. It comes across to me as fake, and I don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong, I still update my twitter and check my facebook to an extreme amount, but when it comes to communicating with someone I prefer hearing their voice.

The July/August issue of RELEVANT has a really good article titled “The High Cost of Friendship” by Seth Hurd. He writes:

Freinds, real know-you-down-to-your-soul friends, come at a high cost. They guarantee a lifetime of broken hearts as we say goodbye, farewell and amen, again and again over the course of our lives.

Sadly, more and more people are finding that cost too high. Fifty years ago, the average person had three or more close friends and family members in which to confide. Today, that average has dropped to somewhere between two and one. The world-within-a-world of social networking has its benefits, but it’s also continually drawing us further into an “invent your own fantasy” identity and away from face-to-face relationships. This year, the average American will spend more time with their computer than with their spouse. As a study in the March 2009 International Business News so aptly put it, “Facebook, Twitter users among the loneliest in America.”

… Online friends don’t borrow money and not pay it back, gossip or spill Gatorade in your car. They don’t show up at your house after just getting dumped and stay until 2 a.m. when you have to be at work in the morning. Online “friendships” are always efficient.

True friendships demands vulnerability. It requires that you rearrange your schedule, and intentionally plan time to spend with other people with no agenda.

The article goes on to explain that the appeal of online friendships is very human because it’s selfishly convenient and keeps people and a comfortable distance. I’d have to agree. But I don’t want that.

As I said, I don’t mind reading up on people to stay up to date (like reading blogs – haha), but in order to maintain a real relationship, I need more. Instant Messaging is great for leaving a short note or letting someone know you’ve been trying to get in touch with them, but not a personal conversation. Knowing that school is over, I’m going to try to make more of an effort to keep up with people by actually hearing their voice or seeing their face, instead of reading pixels forming letters on a screen.  I’ve already done this with some of my closest friends, but I could do better. I haven’t even called some people. I won’t have those friends much longer if I don’t do something about it.

I’ve kept venting and deeper emotions out of this blog because (1) I don’t need to broadcast that stuff all over the internet and (2) I need human interaction for my human feelings. I blame this epidemic on Myspace.